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A few years ago at a family reunion, the entire group was dazzled and entertained by an adorable little cousin of ours. He is definitely the center of attention, no matter where he goes. His mother had some great news to share- little Aiden would be a big brother soon. After we gave our congratulations, the next thought was how was this cute little boy going to take sharing the spotlight?
Imagine how the world of an only child changes the second a new baby comes into his or her life. Not only do they have the learn to share everything from Dad to the Play Station, but they will have to learn to compromise,
communicate their feelings and to help take care of someone younger.
Parents have a good nine months to prepare the new big brother and sister, so don’t waste any time. Begin by telling the child that Mom is pregnant. Many parents are fearful of this moment, because it often brings up the dreaded questions of “where do babies come from?” The best way to handle this is to answer honestly, but don’t feel the need to share any more details than necessary, depending of the child’s age.
Once your child knows of the new baby, involve him in all aspects of the pregnancy and preparation for the new baby. Have him pick out toys for the baby, and let him go with you for a doctor’s visit. Helping with the tasks before birth will help your child feel like he is part of the process, rather than a bystander.
As the baby’s birth comes closer, have a conversation with a few helpful friends or family members. Ask them to take time from their visits at the hospital or home to take the oldest child aside for a special treat or just a one-on-one conversation that does not include any baby talk.
A new baby in the family is always a joyful experience. Unfortunately, all the preparation in the world will not keep your children from bickering as they get older. However, helping your child transition into siblinghood will make those first few months a little bit easier.
Roshunda Blount
Extension Agent, 4-H Youth Development
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