(February 25, 2008) – What is the most vile word in the English language?
     Of course, to some, the F-word immediately comes to mind. I may agree …
     …Unless I coin "Made in China" as a one-word, vulgar-sounding, gutter-trash semblance: madeinchina!
     As in my neighbor's madeinchina dogs barked all night and I didn't get a madeinchina wink of sleep.
     Or, those madeinchina loud, eardrum-shattering stereo systems in that hot Prism on my street should be ticketed for breaking the town's madeinchina noise ordinance.
     Or, those madeinchina politicians keep harping on making a change; yet, there are no madeinchina specifics on why we need change (a madeinchina Democrat speaking, most likely) or a madeinchina tome explaining the specifics.
     Or, those madeinchina Demon Deacons and those madeinchina Hurricanes, who beat the madeinchina, slumping Blue Devels on back-to-back game nights; and those madeinchina, whining Tar Heels, who lost to the Blue Devils because of a madeinchina missing ball-handler.
     My madeinchina life is such a madeinchina mess – and I blame madeinchina Wal-Mart, madeinchina Target, madeinchina Kohl's, and all those other madeinchina retailers who have shunned the "Made with Pride in the U.S.A." label for, what else, a madeinchina "Made in China" label.
     (Okay, so maybe I have been a little madeinchina redundant in making a madeinchina point, but it's my madeinchina elbertreble webcolumn. Sorry. Really, I'm very madeinchina sorry.)
     My point? Read on.
     You go to Wal-Mart (or elsewhere) and you purchase an item (say, a black pair of pants). It's the right waist size, right length; it has enough belt loops; the label says 60% cotton and 40% polyester (you can live with that); the label says machine wash; and the label says "Made in China."
     Although you had serious doubts as to the quality of the product (you have been burned on other occasions), you purchase the black pants anyway (just to lounge in or wear when going to the post office) and pay, say, $24.74 at the check-out (where you stood in line forever because only registers No. 5 and No. 7 were open for anyone with 21-plus buggy items).
     With a vision of mal-nutritioned, dirty-faced, shabbily-clothed, toothless and doe-eyed Chinese women seated behind grinding sewing machines, wiping the perspiration from their brow almost in unison, you feel pleased that you have added to their well-being and their economic status.
     A worker likely received four cents from the $24.74 paid price; the floor supervisor, maybe, eight cents; the plant owner, oh, 12 cents; Chinese officials on the take, a dollar or two; and the American company that laid off hundreds, perhaps thousands, of dedicated, prideful U.S. workers to move their textile operation to the distant Chinaland will get at least $9.50 when sold to a U.S. retailer. And, finally, out of the $24.74 price paid by the consumer, the retailer realizes $13.
     Though slightly wary by now (the fabric is a pre-wash lint magnet), the consumer gets madeinchina screwed when, after a couple of wears, the pants are dropped into the washing machine for its first cleaning. They look a little wrinkled coming out of the dryer. You note the fabric has picked up more dog hairs, cat hairs, human hairs, anything loose, like that aforementioned magnet. You go back to the retailer and purchase a 99-cent lint roller. On the first roll across a pants leg, the madeinchina "Made in China" plastic handle breaks off in your hand. Well, you hand-roll the pants, tearing sheet after sheet off the worthless roller.
     After a while (a long while), you slide your feet and legs into the pants legs and with a hefty jerk, pull them up around your waist and, lo, that awful ripping sound reverberates in your ear. The pants have come loose – the waistband separating itself from the rest of the pants.
     The "Made in China" trash bin has another madeinchina tenant.
     Now, you will say, you get what you pay for. Are you telling me that if I pay $24.74 for a casual, black pair of pants that I should expect to wear them twice and then discard them? Does that mean if I pay $49.99 for a pair of pants, I get to wear them four times before tossing them? Or $100 for a pair, wear 'em 10 times and toss them? No madeinchina way!
     That's not the only incident. You buy a Christmas decoration with a battery attachment. You open the back, place two D-sized batteries in and reclose the compartment. You gleefully switch it on. Nothing lights up. You switch the batteries' positions. On. Nothing. Off. Back to the batteries. This time you hear a low tinkle. You gently shake the battery pack and the tinkle becomes a bigger tinkle. You discover the element that conducts the power from the battery to the light snugly inside the decoration has separated itself from its place of prominence. Another madeinchina disaster. Wait. You bought two identical decorations. You reach for the second purchase, carefully open the box, give it a wee shake and … tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. Strike Two and Strike Three!
     The trip to the trash bin is a long, thought-provoking time for reflection on consumer buying. Should I stupidly continue to pay a "low" price for household items, personal items, et cetera? Or, should I pay a much "higher" price for the same "Made in China" item and trash it on the usual schedule?
     There is no escape from the "Made in China" label. You have to be a determined shopper to find a "Made in the U.S.A." label. Even labels with Mexico, Honduras, The Philippines and Pakistan have become suspect. There is no quality control outside our borders. We get what "they" want us to get.
     And, we pay a madeinchina price for it in the long run.
     (Have a madeinchina story? E-mail it to me below and I will share the story, not the person's name, in a future wbcolumn.)